Monomania Comes To U*Space Gallery

April has turned out to be a pretty dead month for us. I don’t think we have seen twenty new faces since the month got underway. Regardless of that fact. I have been super busy preparing for our May opening inwhich the gallery will also release its second hardcover art book.

I am hopeful that tomorrow evening will breath some new life into my lovely little  space when we will be featuring the experimental music duo Monomania as part of the gallery’s *Artlab series. Having met both guys, I am sure a grand night is going to be had by all.

Monomania are the improvisatory electro-acoustic duo of Jon Ciliberto and Jeff Grove.

Their performance will occur in two sets – an early one (8 pm – 9 pm) which will be quieter, more kid-friendly and acoustic; the later set (10:30 pm – midnight) will be more electronic, glitchy, introspective.

Monomania play: synthesizers, electronic toys, drum machines, radios, computers, percussion, saxophone, flute, guitar, and other plucked stringed instruments.

www.soundcloud.com/monomania 

U*Space Gallery’s *Artlab series is an artistic laboratory with an audience, designed to serve as a intimate safety net for the development, nurturing, supporting, and presenting of new and original live performance work by artists of all nations and cultures.

April @ U*Space

Boy, no sooner had March arrived when it was time for me to get things started on April’s exhibit. I had decided to feature two new artists each making their solo debuts in the art world.

MUTUALISTIC COEVOLUTION – The Solo debut of Weston Packard

  

and

FROM DARK TO LIGHT – The Solo Debut of Rushdan Ritter

Opening Night was great. The weather was cool and people seemed to come in and out all evening. Both artists are in their twenties so it was nice to see their parents at the exhibit. I think I kicked the last people out close to 1am.

Feeling Exhausted And My Emotions Spent…

February came to an end with me being caught between the old and the new exhibitions. I had been so busy during the last two weeks of February that I found it difficult to prepare for the opening of the March 5th show. The two women I chose to exhibit for Women’s History Month were Sydnei SmithJordan and Nicole Pritchett. 

SmithJordan had already dropped off her paintings mid February but I was now starting to become a little bit anxious to really spend some time looking over the works in my preparation for hanging them.

BY GRACE… THE ATONEMENT

Sydnei SmithJordan

Pritchett on the other hand usually delivers her work in pieces until we really are down to the wire.  This showing proved to be no different. The first pieces arrived on the deadline February 28. I was a bit surprised because in the preparational talks, we had both agreed that this show would have smaller pieces then the last exhibit.  Not only were the new pieces big, some of them were actually larger than her previous works.

 Unfortunately, when an artist is working so closely with their pieces, they will often times not realize the full scale of a piece until it is mounted, at which time it is usually to late to do anything about. After her last exhibit, Pritchett had talked about having wished she’d of included more smaller works (I often have to remind artists to never forget that for the most part, people purchase art as a pleasure purchase).  I wasn’t too worried about the pieces being large. They were simply gorgeous. The problem arises from the stand point of size vs space when purchasing. The reality is that size often limits the number of people who can actually acquire the pieces. I thought, if she’s really interested in wanting to sell we were skating on a bit thin ice.

Something also felt out of place. When I looked at all the work it seemed to me as if something were missing. Pritchett mentioned that there were some other pieces that she had not been able to complete. I told her if she thought she could get them to me by Wednesday April 3rd, I would break my rule of not wanting to be rushed into curating an exhibit. She agreed. The small pieces arrived and were indeed the missing pieces to the puzzle. 

ORGANIC MIND CULTIVATION II

Nicole Pritchett

From Wednesday afternoon to Thursday I worked like a madman into the wee hours.  Mediating and talking with each piece of art to better understand how they worked individually and as a whole. Every exhibit has its challenges but with a little patience, secrets slowly start to reveal what on the surface more often than not seems  to be just a bunch of random images someone has called an exhibition. Once all the work was hung and I was able to slowly walk through, as if I were seeing these pieces for the very first time, it felt right.

The harmany one looks for as a curator was there. It truly felt as if each piece were gently and ever so politely introduced you to the next piece. The exhibits flowed. In spite of my feeling exhausted and my emotions spent, both of exhibitions leaved me with a proud feeling of having helped something become complete and it would be with that earnest feeling that I would push myself eagerly forward towards what would prove to be an exquisite opening night artist reception.

GROWING OLDER GROWING WISER

Hello dear reader. Sorry it has been more than two months since my last entry. The end of 2009 kept me busier than a fox in a hen house. The new year is here and there is a lot to catch-up on.  We’ll the first thing that kept me so tied up was the fact that me and my partner Patrick had been looking for a house to love, which we finally found in historic Grant Park. It was built in 1920 had still has all the bells and whistles intact. We wanted to find a house that would allow me and Bailey the opportunity of walking to and from work. We are only about 20 minutes walking if you also filter in dog stops.

So much of my life had been boxed up literally for the past five years while working on making the gallery a success that I had forgotten how much stuff I had collected over the years. The best part was being able to put all the art-work and books up that had been sitting in storage or tucked away at the gallery.

January is usually the month that I take off to recharge for the new season. This year due to the craziness of the move and my making plans for renovating the gallery, it seemed as if I were unable to find even a minute of my time that could be used for relaxation. The fundraiser which I had started earlier was going horrible so I quickly came to the realization that  I needed to let it go if I was ever going to redirect the energy I had been channeling towards raising funds towards now getting the gallery ready to reopen.

This would come to have its own drama when Mr. Johnson, one of the homeless men I’d befriended since being on Edgewood who was supposed to be helping me get it the gallery ready disappeared along with six bottles of wine and some change I kept lying around. During this time I also had to be very honest with myself and admit that it would be nice to have more of an active support role from the people that come to U*Space but the truth of the matter was that the gallery was going to do its thing with or without the added support. Once I admitted that, everything else seemed to just fall into place. 

The gallery looks and feels even more amazing than it had. Having moved out – I used the remaining space to  transform the gallery into three unique sections. I finished everything and the gallery was now ready to reopened its doors with not one but two exhibitions along with the third viewing room. I was as happy as a school boy anticipating summer vacation –  

In Gallery I (the largest section)

HOW WE USED TO LIVE African-American Photographs 1900-1939

In Gallery II

OUT OF SPACE OUT OF LINE – A Contemporary Exhibit of Outsider Art

In Gallery III (PETITE GALLERY)  Will feature only works smaller than 4 x 6 

February 5th, U*Space kicked off its 2010 season. It was such a perfect evening. Those who had been to U*Space before had the kindest of words to say about the gallery’s transformation while new comers seemed to glow in their embracing of  U*Space’s idealogy-Art must  be accessible to everyone. I eventually sent the last group of people packing at around 12:45am. Patrick said for him it had been his favorite opening so far that he’d attended at the gallery.

The last few months have seemed like a worldwind between fundraising, moving, and transforming the space but as I turned the final light off, I realized it was all worth it. If I had felt tired I could not longer tell. I also thought about how disappointed I had been in Mr. Johnson’s disappearance. But somewhere when all that energy being moved around I discovered that I’d found space in my heart to forgive him. I try so hard to see and allow people to come into my live not as I would want them to be but as they really are. I knew Mr. Johnson had a drug problem and we have talked many times about his struggle with his addictions. So I had to accept the fact that his actions were in keeping with that which I knew of him. Will I be a little less trusting of his sure. After all I am human but I recognize that with time people are able to move pass the disappointment we may experience with others.

As I placed the key in the door and heard the lock click I thought about how lucky I was and that somewhere between everything that had been going on I had been fortunate enough to have grown a bit older and I hope wiser.

Three Days, 558 Names Later

Wow, things have been a bit hectic for me lately. I had been working feverishly on getting information ready for the gallery’s very first fundraiser. This has been really challenging because I was determined to maintain the integrety of U*Space as well as inspire others to pay the power of individual support forward.  A few weeks ago I learned that I had been accepted into the invitation only media platform ‘Kickstarter‘, This now meant that the gallery had not one but two options available for  people to give. For those of you who don’t know - Kickstarter is an exciting new way to fund ideas and endeavors.

So, after creating my page and getting everything ready to launch I found myself afraid to post it. I know what this fear is. It is the very thing that has me excited about doing the fundraiser. I had to accept the fact that once it went live, the outcome would for the most part be completely out of my control. Eventually putting my nerves aside I hit launch and just like that on Monday November 9, 2009 we were having a fundraiser.

Then the real work began – I decided that for the first week I would send out emails about the drive to our mailing list. Wanting to keep everything as personal as possible, I realized I wanted each individual to have their name addressed in the greeting. Three days, 558 names later they have all been sent. I was tired afterwards but satisfied. I knew I would never have been pleased with myself had I simply sent out a mass email. If no one else notices it, I am fine because I know. 

A couple of days later, we received a few donations and a few people forwarded the information on to people they knew. This meant and means a lot to me. The fact that someone would take the time out of their busy schedule to help me spread the word. Some people have called to let me know that they will do whatever they can to get the information in the hands of others. I am so grateful no matter what the outcome of the fundraiser. It really is a wonderful feeling to know that other people do appreciate the Gallery.

The most interesting correspondence so far has to be from an artist that U*Space met a while back -

Mr. Jackson greetings and good evening. With all due respect, I also believe in being honest and true as a artist as one time I remember coming into your gallery and politlely being turned away as my art was did not have enough “meaning” in your terms to be shown in your gallery.  So me believing in karmas in life chose NOT to fill out your fundraiser questionaire but give you good luck in your future endeavors if your gallery exists or not.  

Greatness is a title worked and earned not given to…

***********

When I first read this email I was a bit ticked off. One, because  he had taken what was a two hour meeting in which I expressed that U*Space doesn’t do will with works that simply are created due to their potential sale appeal. Two, I was ticked that he had not heard any of the other suggestions I had offered about the type of gallery I believed he should seek out.  I remember trying to explain in away that would keep our door to communication open the fact that  because most of our exhibits are curated, he might would have a difficult time producing work which would required him to articulate clearly his own unique viewpoint versus the works he had brought in for me to view. Unfortunately U*Space really doesn’t do well when it comes to artwork of iconic musicians, singers, atheletes, or political figures. There are a lot of galleries out there that do and that is wonderful but it is just not U*Space.  I deliberately held back from immediately responding. I try so hard to give honest advise when I am asked as well as give other directions for artist to think about whwn going over works. That evening between sleeping and waking, I kept thinging about  the email. The next morning when I awoke I actually had arrived at the conclusion that I was grateful for having recieved the email. I had come to understand that it really celebrated my strength as a curator to strive to always be honest and true to the vision of U*Space.

I love when I meet an artist and I don’t  immediately understand their work. It is those moments that I become excited in a childlike way because it forces me to let go and just acknowledge the fact that sometimes works exist that have cryptic meanings and powers that only time and distance can reveal. I remember I had spent a good deal of time trying to explain to to the artist. Artists should be very selective when choosing to work with a gallery.  It’s a like relationship so a mutual good fit needs to be acheived.  Here is where I believe much of  the problem today lies. I find with artist who show in clubs, coffee houses,  restaurants, or any venue outside of gallery settings there is often a slacking off of holding oneself to the usual art standards.  These spaces are great for exposure which I am all for but they do not nurture and challenge important dialogues often needed to help artist dig deeper in their quest to articulate their unique individual language. Don’t get me wrong, there are some of us who just can push ourselves beyond our limits but for most of us, we need outside stimulation.

I often find myself telling artists – “Technique is a dime-a-dozen. It’s a bit like learning to ride a bike. The more you do it the more you get better at it. The hard part of creating art is finding the strength and the courage to say sometime sincerely. To go blindly into those small often dark quiet places that exist in each and everyone of us. Trust me it can be not only scary but at times dangerous and yet, should we be successful in reaching those locations the yield is priceless. But even that is not enough. One of the biggest challenges when drawing from our well of unconsciousness is that we have to work at the refinement of our essense (our bucket) continuously so as not to lose the purity of idea inside the bucket as we slowly pull it into the conscious world.  As artist we spend a great deal of time refining that spiritual bucket due to the fact that it is constantly being altered by life’s experiences. The role of the gallery is to gently be their to remind us that our reward should not be the adulation of  the crowd but the strength that comes from being fortunate enough to speak outloud with a tongue of truth, grace, and wisdom versus being beholden to speak only what others would want of you to speak. Through art we bravely remnd the voiceless they indeed have a voice that should be used to communication.

I reponded back to the artist -

Hello ********, thank you very much for simply taking the time out of your busy day to respond back. Your response is indeed a blessing to us both. Wishing you continued success and the best of luck on your endeavors as well.

 

In life one cannot be all things to all people.

 

Stay creative always,

Terence

What I had come to see in that email was a powerful reflection of my conviction about art and the gallery and the work we bring into the gallery. So three days and 558 names later, I am feeling extremely fortunate and blessed to continually receive messages like this one from the universe telling me that I am moving closer and closer to becoming a thing of truth, grace, and wisdom.

Lack Of Trying

I have been so busy lately. The new exhibition ‘Organic Mind Cultivation‘ by Nicole Pritchett  finally went up. The artist was working up until Wednesday on pieces for the show. This put me behind schedule by two days. But I was determined to not get so stressed out.

Friday evening was the opening night reception and it could not have been lovelier. The weather was to die for enough so I was able to have the doors open. The crowd started filtering in at 7 pm and we didn’t see a break until close to 10 pm. I created a huge on sight paper sculpture out of a tar paper project Nicole had abandoned. People seem to really like the idea of the endless possibilities of reconfigurable art and its able to conform to any individual’s space. I had a lot of fun constructing this piece. It currently is 83″ x 84″.

I had so much fun that I didn’t have time to feel tired. The last person made their way outside a little after 12 am. I immediately started on the clean up and after washing the last plate, noticed that the clock read 1:30am. I took one final look around and then jumped into bed where I fell quietly to sleep thinking of how lucky I was to be able to do what I love doing. Thanks Nicole for the inspiring artwork.

Woke up at my usual 7 am time feeling rested and eager to start my Saturday. The gallery opens at 10 am so I had more than enough time to gently fall into the groove of the day. I grabbed my keys and the dog’s leash and out into the morning air we headed for Mr. Bailey’s morning walk. It was still pretty quiet out. I was just about to turn on my mp3 player when a gentleman I have often seen around the neighborhood named James approached us. It was about 7:30am and James was out trying to hustle up on some money. He started off by saying it was his birthday. A line you here quite often in low income neighborhoods. He asked me if I would give him a birthday present of $1.00. I laughed and immediately answered back that birthdays come every year and that mine had come and gone without him given me anything.

 Then from his small black plastic bag he produced the largest roll of toilet paper I had ever seen. He informed me that if I needed any toilet paper he would be kind and sell me his for..? One dollar. I again laughed and told him I had just purchased a big pack which he then asked If I would give him a bunch. James is very resourceful and I guess this time my laughter must have become infectious because he too started laughing.

Continuing to walk along with us, James told me he liked the fact that me and Bailey always spoke when we saw him. I really like James. A small man, he has a very big jovial personality which makes you feel at ease. He calls everyone he likes ‘kinfolk‘ and he gave me a big hug and told me I was “good people“. As we walked, James felt it was important to told me, as so many other wonderful people I have met seen moving to this neighborhood have, “I ain’t no bad person.” I told him I believed him because the truth was we all have our moments. Besides it wasn’t my place to judge him just as I hoped he would not judge me. I have always tried to make it a point of seeingmyself in every single person I meet. James went on to tell me about the hard times he was on but also that he believed he would get himself together “one a these days.” I thought to myself that if he didn’t, it would not be for lack of trying.

We  had been having such a friendly conversation that by the time we made it back to the gallery I told James I would give him a dollar. He told me he had walked past the gallery many times admiring the nice things inside but hadn’t realized that it was my shop. He asked if he could come in since he had always seen us out while on the dog walk. He spoke so sincerely about the space and about how warm and inviting it felt. He told me how proud he was that I had the gallery in the neighborhood. I gave him the dollar as promised and as he headed out the door he turned “One day when I get on my feet I’m gonna come buy something. Because this is nice.” Inside I was torn between feeling happy and sad and once more I thought “If he didn’t, it would not be for lack of trying.”

But She Went Home

Last Saturday, a woman came into the gallery. Her coffee and iPhone in one hand. ”Are you new?” She asked as she made her entrance. When I told her I was not, she went on and on about how she couldn’t believe she had not been in before. She was one of those people who walk into a place stating their name as if it were a revelation. Then upon asking you your name, they proceed to carry on a conversation. Which becomes annoying because they start each new sentence with your first name – “Terence, how long have you been here…. Terence, I can’t believe… Terence…”  Peppering their speech with such familiarity that even a stranger would assume you’ve known them for years. She started off enquiring about U*Space. I could tell she was listening but not listening. The gallery is currently in our salon period. There are more than a hundred paintings currently hanging. After walking around for a while, sometimes on, sometimes off her phone; She asked me about one of the artists hanging – Adam Stoves. This is where our conversation began to get very interesting.

Corner Boy

She kept saying very pretentiously “This is museum quality.” Somehow in that brief moment, I knew we were not talking about art. Maybe it was the tone in her voice. I thought about Adam’s work but also all the other great art that was hanging on the walls. Yes, I knew we were not talking about art. We were talking boxes, labels, the power to oppress one thing while upholding another. “No, you don’t understand. He’s really good.” I tried to laugh it off internally but in fact found myself emotionally shutting down. People never take the time to hear themselves or the foolish things they say. I just stood their thinking to myself, “I don’t know it’s good?” OK… I wonder why she things I have it on the wall for sale?” Hmmmm!

As she continued I thought maybe I should tell her I am the gallery owner and not just some employee which I sometimes have to do when I realize someone feels the need to point out my job. I also explained the artist’s latest decision to recreate his work as a one off print. Making the original obsolete and the new print the original. She proceeded “Oh that’s too bad. He should be more careful because that is deceiving.” – I don’t think she liked it when I told her it was not deceiving just the artist’s progression of thought on shifting perception. Not to mention the fact that when you read the description of the work it clearly states ’Digital Printing on Somerset Velvet Paper. Edition 1 of 1.‘

I don’t think she was use to being challenged, she came out of herself faster than a wind-up jack-in-the-box. “I am an artist, I show in New York. Me and my husband have a studio here in Atlanta and in NY. I have many friends who are famous in the art world” she asserted. I suddenly found myself standing knee deep in her mindless shit. I found it all sad and meaningless. When she was finished I told her I was not just a gallery owner but I too was an artist and that I had shown and lived all over the world. She went home…

I thought a lot about our visit after she had left. I even went to her website and looked at her art. What struck me in viewing her pieces was that when I looked at her work from 2003 up to her work done in 2009. I could not see a progression. The pieces all seemed to be locked in some sameness of thought that no longer held any interest in advancing, in pushing away from the safety of the shore line and into the wonderful murky waters of the unknown. Often that is what it takes to sell art. The selling off of one’s own individuality in order to fit into or be accepted into ‘that‘ art world. If only she could have come in not as an “Artist” but as a human being. It was then I realized what it was that had really gotten under my skin. It was the fact that in all her excitement, she never once spoke about the art work on any real personal level. Only about the quality. Our dialogue had been nothing more than surface flutter. No guts. No emotion. No passion. 

This got me thinking a lot about what I try to do. When someone comes into U*Space, I want them to use the art and the energy as a potential key to discovering and/or rediscovering those things within oneselve that we are often forced to bury, while trying to  maneuver through the twists and turns of living. I kept thinking how sad it all sounded the more and more she talked of the BIG people… The IMPORTANT people. I never got a chance to ask her what that made the rest of us, because she went home. 

Maybe that’s what was truly sad. The fact that I understood after looking at her work the price she had paid. The having to ‘make‘ art, not for the pure love of making it but the making of art for a very small group who she has allowed to control her every artistic move. The gifted piper forever forced to follow someone else’s melody.

Autumn In New York

Well, after such a stress laden September it was time for me to get away since I hadn’t taken a vacation at all this year. So Patrick & I headed off to New York City for ’Columbus Day’ weekend.

We arrived Thursday evening and I hit the ground running. Autumn in New York is really my favorite time to visit New York. The days are pleasant and the evenings are cool enough to wear just a jacket or sweater.   

The above pic shows you some of the things I did while I was there – The Kandinsky exhibit was wonderful. It was very crowded and I had forgotten how uncivilized supposedly cultured people can be when they don’t get to have things their way. We had arrived abour thirty minutes before opening and the crowd was already forming inside. When the attendants tried get some order before opening all hell broke loose. The attendance instructed a portion of us outside until the first set of people could be ticketed in. Luck was on my side because when the line outside was finally organiazed we were positioned to be the the first people to enter the building when the initial line moved. One woman who didn’t want to wait in line simply took her place in front of Patrick and I. I was so embarrassed for her because the attendants started calling her out in front of everyone. She did not move until one of the attendants said to her “Lady, you ain’t gonna win this one. I will make sure that you don’t even get admitted”. That seemed to strike a cord with her because she soon walked away madder than ever. Because it was so crowded, when we finally made it in I suggested to Patrick that we start at the end and work our way backwards. I could tell Patrick didn’t really think this made sense but he went along with my suggestion. Afterwards he admitted to me that he thought he enjoyed it better than he would have if we’d followed the natural order of things.

This brings me to my observations on the exhibition – I had made the suggestion to view the exhibit in reverse because I know that with large amounts of art it is so easy to simply find one’s sense’s burned out halfway through the viewing. I also knew Kandinsky‘s later works would be of course dazzling so that the idea of deconstructing the experience for Patrick who is not an artist would truly allow him to carry the images of the masterworks from their completion to their inception without losing steam. I am not sure why curators don’t take more risks when attempting to help viewers interact more with art. The other thing I realized after viewing the paintings was that Kandinsky’s master works don’t really offer any insight into their magic hung in the traditional style of simply mounting them onto the wall. As we made our way through the twists and turns of the Guggenheim, I realized that had I mounted the show I would have placed the paintings on the floor and visitors would have walked over some form of see through flooring, viewing the paintings from above – Not in front.

I also got a chance to taken in the play’s -’ Hair‘, ‘God of Carnage’, ‘After Miss Julie’, & Anna Deavere Smith’s ‘Let Me Down Easy’ which I think was both me and Patrick’s favorite. We were supposed to see Diane Schurr at the Blue Note but opted for Maria Tecce at the Metropolitan Room – I am so glad we changed our mind and went for the less obvious choice. It was worth it. If you haven’t discovered this amazing singer you should.

The icing on my New York cake has to be my visit to the New Museum of Contemporary Art – I love this place. The staff is young and engaged and the facility is so vibrant and filled with true energy. It is one of those places that you realize the people their believe in what they are doing. The Emory Douglas exhibit was a revelation.  For those who are not familiar with this iconic artist -  Emory Douglas was the revolutionary artist of the Black Panther Party and subsequently became their Minister of Culture.  I also had the pleasure of seeing the works of Dorothy Lannone as well. I love the balance of playfulness and seriousness found in her work.  So that was my weekend and now it’s back to doing gallery stuff and there is more good news to follow…

The Eyes Have It

When you visit U*Space, more often than not you will be greeted first by the gallery’s mascot – Mr. Bailey. He is a Jack Russell/Beagle mix. He can be hyper but generally the beagle will kick in at some point and he will calm down. I’ve had him since he was weeks old. He will be 9 this year, come October 9th. You would never believe it from the energy he exudes. Bailey is truly an attention whore.

Since opening the gallery, he has become a big hit with folks. I took this portrait of him in the gallery last year. He loves it when people come in and give him treats and back rubs. Bailey hates it when people come into the gallery and try to ignore him. He’s been known to talk up a storm when need be. People say he has a hypnotic gaze and has been known to use it on people to get in their laps.

The truth is – He really does run the place. I just work there.

The Universe Is Calling U

September was a monster of a month. I don’t know how it was for anyone else but for me the month seemed to have a protocol all its own.  The beginning of the month was weird. I had been really busy in August locating vendors as far away as Africa – to bring in new one-of-a-kind pieces for the gallery. I was so excited because the gallery looked awesome. I had also gotten in new art books and was just all around pleased with myself for once again acquiring quality items that could be resold at truly affordable prices.

Then September arrived. The first week no one came into the gallery (This never happens).  It even freaked out Bailey (the gallery’s mascot). The next week was the start of what would become Georgia’s historic flooding. So again no one came. Thank God the gallery’s basement( which can only be used for light storage anyway)  has a massive professional water pump. So the basement only received about four inches of water, which the pump took care of immediately. Then I began to notice communication with individuals was way off. Artist would set up appointments and not make them. Patrons would put things on hold and not return to pick them up or call.  Because the gallery runs on a below the shoe string budget, when people tell me they are coming to pay on a piece of artwork they have on hold, I generally start looking at ways to make the most of that money. I don’t think people realize that literally every dime the gallery makes goes right back into running the space. Since opening the gallery – I can honestly say that I have maybe paid myself from money made through the gallery less than $1,000. That is why I am so grateful that I have a truly loving/understanding partner of ten years named Patrick who has maintained our personal household expenses which gives me the freedom to direct all my funds towards the day to day running of the gallery. So September was extremely trying when it came to managing things.  Nothing was as it seemed and the starts and stops were so draining that by the last week of September I was counting the days down. Which was why I was so looking forward to October’s art opening.

Communication had been good between me and the artist leading up to the middle of September. But low and behold as with everything else, things started to go awry as we approached the 20th of September. Communication suddenly came to a standstill. Now because I am an artist, I know that  sometimes one has to go into seclusion in order to finish last minute pieces and I hoped this was indeed the case. The last message from the artist was that large works were on their way via UPS. So I was hopeful. After all, postcards had been ordered and mailed. The banner’s to be placed outside were ready to go up and I had posted the information on more that ten different virtual event sites. I had even been ahead of schedule when it came to having my wine and other items needed for an opening.  

I have always had the gift of being able to forsee things that I have an attachment to (I don’t like the fact that I can predict outcomes. More often than not they are negative, so I am always hoping I am wrong).  The morning I got ready to take everything off the walls in preparation for the new exhibition a voice said “Leave it!” I Which I did. This would be the start of my watch and wait for the UPS truck. It never came. I told some people close to the gallery – I felt that there was not going to be a new exhibition and that I hoped I was wrong. I sent the artist another email asking for confirmation of their address so I could send them some physical invitations – No response.

Opening Nights are always the first Friday of each month unless a holiday falls then it’s the next Friday. I was finally taken out of limbo when on Wednesday September 30th at around 3:40pm an email arrived -

“Hey i got a call that my box of paintings was damage!!!!! i need to go pick it up, and see what happened and what survive thank goodness had insurance but still i dont know how bad they were damage damn it”

At first I just stared at the message. I was not sure what to feel, think, or say. So I closed the email and waited to respond. What struck me about the email was the fact that somehow UPS if I take the email as fact had damged the package before it even had a chance to go out and again if this is what happened,  what took them so long to report the problem to the shipper, since I was told the package went out a few days before September 24? I eventually decided to just send an email saying how sorry I was that this had happened and that I hoped the work was not badly damaged.

So there I was two days before the opening with no show. For a brief moment I was angry. I had spend money on postcards, stamps, banners, food, wine. I went to bed that night realizing that it was the lack of communication that had really gotten my goat and the fact that my prediction had indeed come true. Thursday I spent all day removing the virtual posts that gave me the option of deleting the information I had put up. Patrick had been called away to Burma for the week which left me alone other than Bailey. I crawled into bed that night feeling alone, drained, and sad.

Friday came, Patrick had emailed while I was sleep to wish me luck. I didn’t have the strength to email him about what had gone down. Besides, I still had a heavy feeling draped over my heart. I knew people would be coming and I would have to explain that the evening promised was not meant to be. I did my best to spruce up the gallery which was already in salon mode so there was lots of art to see. I rushed through the day trying to make sure that I had a price list. I finished the list around 5:00pm. There were 181 pieces.  People were expected at 7:00pm. I was already feeling a bit fragile and vunerable when I received two messages from two friends who I had confided my suspicions two - One via phone at 6:00pm the other via email at around 6:30pm saying they would be unable to attending.  

The turnout was smaller than usual which didn’t help me overcome the blue mood that I hoped no one saw. My mind took over and started me to thinking a lot about my need to reevaluate my investment in others and the amount of time I give of myself to others. You know the tricks your mind can play on you. It was the whole “is it worth it?” routine.  Just as I was about to answer back, the universe called in all it’s beauty and wonder with a multitude of affirmations. First, the wonderful russian artist Irina Akimova arrived with her husband Mark bringing homemade perogi’s and the artist Ieva Unda. Kelli of Kheesekakesbykelli arrived with cheesecakes and her usual bag of high spirit and sincerity. Later, one of my favorite patrons - Jeff Orr placed the icing on my cake when before leaving he articulated to me what U*Space meant to him. I would like to think that somehow he must have known I needed to hear that – I was so grateful for his encouraging words. I had been standing on shaky ground. I closed the doors a little before 12am. Then took Bailey out for his final walk. The clock read 1:45am when I finally crawled into bed.  

I woke at 5:45 am – Saturday October 3th - Finished the final clean-up from the night before. The sun was shining so bright. The temperature was going to remain in the low 70′s all day. 10:00am – Saying a prayer that October would not be as difficult as September, I proceeded to open the doors for business. There was a new email from Patrick letting me know that he had found a few shadow puppets I had asked him to look for while in Burma. I smiled to myself. Something had passed. Again, I thought about  my investment in others and the amount of time I give of myself to others. This time though, I heard myself answering loud and clear – “You only know how to give.” It is what brings me the most joy. Sharing so earnestly, that possiblities emerge where none exist before. As the day progressed the universe sent in additional affirmations from strangers picking up where Jeff had leaved of. It was indeed a day full of wonderment, communication, and sharing. Yes, sometimes in our journey we find ourselves having to stop and admit that somewhere along the way we become quietly bruised and in need of salve.

Thanks to everyone who through their interaction delivered the precious balms I so needed to rejuvenate. It is days like yesterday that make me love what I do and remind me how fortunate I am to be able to embrace not only the best of days but the worst of days. Yes, October has arrived and the universe is calling for me to thank the artist (who never delivered) for sending me down a path I had not expected to take. But a path that none-the-less led me back to what fundamentally matters to me – The joy of investing in others.